Battle of the Sexes

FPP#4, Chapter 4 -How can you say that husbands and wives are supposed to be equal partners? Do you mean regarding each having his or her job and doing it equally well?"

I read a talk recently where James Harper reminds us about the union of husbands and wives. He said, “it is all too common in modern times for husbands and wives to place various people or activities—work, recreation, extended family, even Church service—above their marital bond, this is not necessarily a conscious decision. However, the covenant made by Adam and Eve to leave parents and be one teaches us that successful couples will be careful to place each other first. The greatest gift parents can give children is united and loving marital bond.”

We need to take a closer look at Adam and Eve’s relationship. Many people get this all wrong, I know I did for many years. Some people think because Eve partook of the forbidden fruit that she showed poor common sense, and didn’t understand the Lord’s commandment. The think Eve should be subservient to Adam and follow his counsel” What does equality mean many people say it's “identity,” that two equal things must be identical to each other, right?”

Well, I use to think that as well, but we are taught that, “such usage represents a fallen and harmful understanding of equality that is espoused by Lucifer, who passionately wants all to be “like … himself.” And remember we are free to choose for ourselves. (2 Nephi 2:27). Elder Bruce C. Hafen, “a member of the Seventy at the time, and his wife Marie explained:

Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to “rule over” Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator… Over in “rule over” uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over…The concept of interdependent, equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam’s “help meet” (Genesis 2:18). The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam. She wasn’t his servant or his subordinate. Just as Adam hearkened first to Eve, accepted from her the fruit of the first tree, and entered into mortality, so Eve would hearken to Adam, accept from him the fruit of the second tree, and enter into eternal life.

When viewing the entire plan of happiness, we see that the man and the woman play equally powerful and equally important roles in the plan. Each is to hearken to the other for the plan to work. Each stands before the other, and in the sight of God, as equals."

So, to bring this all together, "The truest, most noble love is the love of a superior for an inferior where the superior makes every sacrifice so that the inferior might, if willing, rise to become equal.

And that is the wonder of the Savior’s Atonement: He, a superior, suffered and died so that all who will, males and females, may become equal heirs with Him (D&C 88:107) and receive “all power” and the “fullness” of God (D&C 76:54–56, 94–95; 132:20). In this highest realm, the Savior “makes them equal in power, in might, and in dominion” (D&C 76:95). Parental love in mortality emulates godly love. Those with healthy parental love make sacrifices so that their children may one day stand as their equals and be not only their children but also their friends."

Activity Assessing Equal Partnership

Review the questions as a couple and work out your level of equality. Then click here to find out what the scholars say.

References

Harper J, M. (1990, January). A man … shall cleave unto his wife. Learning to love the old testament. Ensign.

Hawkins A. J., Draper T, W., Dollahite D. C.; Successful marriages and families. BYU Studies, Brigham Distributing. 2016, 38.

Hudson, V. M., & Miller, R. D., (2016). Equal partnership between man and woman in families. In Hawkins, A. J., & Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. W., (Eds.), Success marriages and families – proclamation principles and research perspectives. pp. 103-117. Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University

Young, S, (Ed). (1993). Anthology of sacred texts by and about women. New York: Crossroad.