Tender Mercies
- Mar 30, 2018
- 3 min read
FPP# 12, Chapter 20 - This is the last post officially for the family proclamation project. However, I will be writing another one that focuses on when things go bad. Both posts are the most important of all the content. I am looking at continuing the blog at the completion of the semester.
Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got ~ Robert Brault ~
May I show you a visual of covenant marriage?
"Repentance and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin and are frequently addressed together. For example, apologies facilitate forgiveness, and forgiveness motivates repentance. In families, repentance and forgiveness blend into an interactive process that is strengthened by family members’ commitment to each other."
When forgiveness is required, there will be a victim and an offender who is, at the time of the offense, connected through an ongoing relationship. While this post focuses on married couples and the family, it affects everyone in our lives.
There are three kinds of forgiveness, by implication, the repentance/forgiveness scenario involves an offender and a victim. However, "interpersonal transgressions" are shared by both parties, the resulting process is mutual forgiveness. Those affected could be parents and offspring, two or more siblings, or the parents themselves.
The second type of forgiveness bilateral forgiveness presumes there has been wrongdoing on only one side, and forgiveness comes in response to apology and repentance.
In the third case, the offender will not or cannot participate in this type of healing, and therefore unilateral, or one-way, forgiveness can be achieved by the victim, without the offender’s apology or repentance.
I will be forever grateful for a loving spouse that has shown me that forgo the sin better than forgiving. That is, someone says or does something to you that is hurtful, and you just let it go and forgive them without them asking your forgiveness.
Recent I shared a personal experience of forgoing. I was caring for my father just before he passed away. One Saturday afternoon during a regular afternoon chat he confessed to me about an incident that happened when I was a baby. He was physically a bit to rough with me. The shock of what he told me left me speechless. Lots of thoughts were crowding my brain. There is a lot more to the story, but in short, I said, "Dad don't worry about it - it happened when I was a baby, I can't remember it ever happening, it means nothing to me. I forgive you Dad ... forget about it, let it go.
Activity - Watch Tender Mercies (a talk given in General Conference 2014) with your spouse. Take the time to have a honest conversation, trust each other and discuss any secrets that should be shared, Try to understand how Heavenly Father sees your spouse as a son or daughter of God.
References
Watson, E., & Hendricks, H. M., (2016). Repentance and forgiveness in family life. In Hawkins, A. J., & Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. W., (Eds.), Success marriages and families – proclamation principles and research perspectives. pp. 201-210. Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University.
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