Sacred Vows

FPP#11 - I wanted to start this post with my testimony that the Lord protect His sons and daughters who remain faithful. There has never been a time in our 31+ years of marriage where either my wife or I have desired to cheat on each other. However, Satan has tried to tempt us with opportunities in the workplace. More so me than my wife. It is apparently evident to me when this happens, and the quickest way to deal with it is remove yourself from the situation. As you'll read further into this post and other posts linked to this one that setting boundaries are vital.

I would like to share an experience of the Lord's protection. It happened years ago before my wife was working for the church. She worked locally at the time and closed to home. We only had one, and my wife used it to get to work, etc. I very rarely drive and choose to walk and catch public transport, primarily for cost and I didn't need to the car. I used our car for home teaching and taking the family to church. Most of this memory has faded except what I want to share. I recall one afternoon getting a sickly feeling, and I started thinking about my wife. I rationalize that she was okay and I was feeling sick. Shortly after that, I had a distinct impression there was something wrong with my wife. I was unable to get her on the phone. I became emotionally unsettled and was shaking. I prayed and asked Heavenly Father for help. It would take me 30 minutes to walk to where my sweetheart was employed. I was anxious and starting to panic because the feelings were intensifying. I knew I had to do something but what? I got on my knee again and partitioned the Lord. What can I do? I was prompted to call my home teachers.

I hesitated for a moment, because, sadly, we rarely saw them. The spirit prompted me "... call them." I picked up the phone and Bro, Jones (not his real name) answered. Somewhat blubbering, through the conversation, I managed to get out that I needed him to come over immediately, and that my wife was in danger or there was something wrong, and I need to get to her work as soon as possible. Without hesitation, he jumped in his car and came over.

We drove to my wife's works, and I went in. I think my son was a baby this because of Bro. Jones stayed in the car looking after him. Relief appeased my worry when I saw my wife; all seemed okay. We embraced and then kissed, she asked me to take me home. I thanked Bro, Jones for helping and felt foolish for asking when nothing seemed wrong. He said, "no problem anytime." While driving home, she opened up and told me her boss made inappropriate advances on her, and I came in just at the right time. All I can say is he was lucky he didn't lay a hand on her because my wife would have no problem defender herself. Over the coming days, my wife's boss apologized and explained his marriage was in shambles, and he was felt vulnerable at the time. In her way, my wife forgave him, and the Lord provided a new employer. The Lord protects his covenanted children.

President Ezra Taft Benson once said, “The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. The Prophet Joseph said, this would be the source of more temptations, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other” (Benson, 1988, p. 277).

In our day the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declared, “In the Family: A Proclamation to the World” God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (The family, para. 4). We live in a world that struggles with keeping the seventh commandment, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). As Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1979, p. 36) has pointed out, “The seventh commandment is one of the least heeded but most needed laws of God.”

The proclamation goes on to explain that a husband and wife should “honor marital vows with complete fidelity” (The family, para. 7). A misconception in the world today is that infidelity involves the commission of sexual acts outside of marriage solely. However, being completely faithful to one’s spouse requires more than avoiding adultery.

President Spencer W. Kimball (1962) taught, “Marriage presupposes total allegiance and total fidelity” (p. 57). We marry with the understanding that we will give ourselves completely to our spouse and that any divergence is a sin. We show our faithfulness to God by loving him with all our “heart, might, mind and strength” (D&C 4:2). We show fidelity to our spouse in the same ways. Indeed, our spouse is the only other being besides God whom we are commanded to love with all our heart. We are commanded to love our spouse with all our heart and cleave unto none else (D&C 42:22).

Click on the links to below to find out more.

• What are the three type of infidelity?

• What are the consequences of sexual sin?

• How do we prevent ourselves cheating on our spouse?

Activity - After reading about the types of infidelity, the consequences of sexual sin, and how to prevent yourself from cheating on your spouse - have an open discussion with your spouse. Note: take your time, it may take a couple of conversations. At the end of the exploration commit to each other that you will live obediently to your temple covenants. You may want to print out the list of actions to take to prevent yourself from being in harm's way.

References

Gardner, S., & Greiner, C., (2016). Honoring marital vows with complete fidelity. In Hawkins, A. J., & Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. W., (Eds.), Success marriages and families – proclamation principles and research perspectives. pp. 59-68. Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University