"Free Will" it's Your Choice!

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We must be forever vigilant in our family from the damaging influence of pornography. Free will IS our best and only defence! Fidelity & physical intimacy is a powerful strength within marriage. I am a “pornography survivor” and my family and I have spiritually grown from the experience by having faith in Christ and living the gospel and serving others.

Points to Ponder

• You need to have a family purity standard that you live and teach your children throughout their lives, in and outside the home.
  

• Do not be afraid to go to your spouse, your Bishop. There are professional services that help in this area. It is extremely difficult if not impossible to overcome porn by yourself. The more you openly talk about and get help from this addiction the less Satan has power over you.
  

• We use “Family Zone” to monitor our mobiles, laptop’s, and tablets. My wife is the administrator and we have a profile for each member of the family suited to their age and needs.
  

• Laptops are used in the open not in private. As parents, when the kids were in their early teens we checked and discussed who they were texting, what they were looking at on Facebook, and searching for on the internet. We have reviewed the types of music, video games, TV, and movies we listen to and watch. It was difficult at first because we had a “worldly mind-set.” As we aligned our family goals to Heavenly Fathers plan of happiness it became easier.
  

• Open communication and forgiveness. Jeffery R. Holland has some powerful talks on the devastation, and the road to recovery from pornography. He has not focused his words solely on men, he says “that there is an alarming number of women falling prey to this wretched damaging immorality and corruption.” Husbands talk to your wives, you cannot do this alone. Goddard teaches, “to show charity in our marriages.” I went to the Lord and begged for forgiveness and for help, my wife forgave me. It was hard, I was sincere, I got help, and my wife forgave me. Porn is here on the earth and it is never going away. We must fortify ourselves and be in the world but not of the world.

“He met with His Apostles, washed their feet, taught them, and administered the sacrament. At one point during the night, He prayed out loud to His Father for the Apostles: “I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. “ye are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. … “As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world” (John 17:15–16, 18). The Savior Himself lived His whole life being in the world but not of the world.” (“Not of the World,” New Era, Sept 2015).

I conclude my remarks with hope and optimism. Unquestionably, if those caught up in the pornography cycle repent and turn to the Lord, He will forgive them. We are sons and daughters of God, He knew we were going to make mistakes. That’s why the Savior atoned for our sins. I do not comprehend the full meaning of the atonement. However, my understanding has grown little by little. The Lord has forgiven me even when I couldn’t forgive myself. Heavenly Father over time has taught me to love myself for who I am and forgive myself. I know, He can heal wounds that cut deep and turn everything around if we submit to the will of the Father … In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.