Teamwork Makes The Dream Work!

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I wrote about this subject a few years ago and find it an integral part of family culture. However, we have to practice and learn together it takes getting use to but it is worth it. As a father and in my calling as Elders Quorum President I have felt the joy and burden lifted from my shoulders by seeking counsel from my family and my two counsellors. Eder Ballard shared, “Joseph exclaimed, Father, mother, you do not know how happy I am: the Lord has now caused the plates to be shown to three more besides myself. They have seen an angel, who has testified to them, and they will have to bear witness to the truth of what I have said, for now they know for themselves, that I do not go about to deceive the people, and I feel as if I was relieved of a burden which was almost too heavy for me to bear, and it rejoices my soul, that I am not any longer to be entirely alone in the world"

Elder Ballard outlines the attributes the family need’s, saying, “According to revelation, "the decisions of these quorums ... are to be made in all righteousness, in holiness, and lowliness of heart, meekness and long suffering, and in faith, and virtue, and knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness and charity; because the promise is, if these things abound in them they shall not be unfruitful in the knowledge of the lord" (D&C 107:30-31).”

President Stephen L. Richards (1953) said “In the spirit under which we labor, men [families (added)] can get together with seemingly divergent views and far different backgrounds, and under the operation of that spirit, by counseling together, they can arrive at an accord, and that accord ... represents the wisdom of the council, acting under the Spirit. (In Conference Report, Oct. 1953, 86; emphasis in original)

I’ve previously read and listened to the account of “President Henry B. Eyring, [who (added)] once described the decision-making process that is followed in meetings of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.” I loved and resonated with the process outlined. Our family have adopted this process and try to the best of our ability to follow their example. We have found success most of the time and when we struggle with a discussion we take time to review the matter over a couple of family councils.

Everyone in the family is important, they have individual talents, and opinions on subjects of discussion. There are many questions that need to be answered but each family member is at peace with the subject. We have had a weekly family council (since our first child turned five-years old), we start with prayer, then present the items to be discussed (previously emailed). Then it’s time to go around the room and ask each family member what they think should be done to resolve the problems. Everyone gets a say, nobody speaks while someone is talking, then we ask questions. Discussion are tailored to be age appropriate.

Once everyone has agreed, we present the family solution. We go around the room committing everyone to the proposed solution. If there are doubts we go around the room again. There are times when it takes two or three meetings. Conversely, there are situations where, as parents, we needed to make a decision quickly for the family. In these situations we found it a good idea the let the children know our rationale for the decision. We still ask the children for their input. In some cases we’ve modified our decision actioning an opinion of one of the children. For example, what color to paint their room or what to hang on the wall. Overall, the family respects our decision and we respect their contributions.