Marriage Trends

It's likely we've all noticed the changing times. Rapid shifts are evolving all around us and there seems no arena left unaffected by the political, social, and socioeconomic changes of our day. I was born in 1960, in Australia. An era, of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. Heterosexual marriage was the given norm. We were taught to get a good education, get a job, get married and have kids. As described in “The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America 2012,” the decline in marriage has been dramatic in recent years. In my fifteenth year (1975) unbeknown to me, the “No fault” rule was endorsed in America. Thus, it was easy for couples to get divorced. Three years later, my parents joined the countless number of unhappy disgruntled individuals looking for a way out and got divorced.

The central idea of divorce in Amato’s paper is this, “children who experience their parents divorcing were prone to a variety of academic, behavioral, and emotional problems.” (Amato, 2005, p.76). My life experiences and thoughts on divorce were substantiated in Amato’s research. Of course, this was my experience. My parent’s divorce did put a lot of emotional stress on me. Also, dealing with A.D.H.D. made certain situations fiery and harsh. I dropped out of school at the beginning of my senior year and entered the workforce, joining the Army as it was a family tradition. One of the benefits though was living on my own. It meant I could deal with my relationship with my parents in a healthier way. It took many years to come to terms with what happened and build some kind of satisfying relationship with them both.

In 1980, President Kimball, stated, “ …only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” The question then is, how do we ensure our family’s protection amidst the temptations of the world and the ravaging, focused attack on the family by the adversary?

Following the prophetic counsel from President Russell M. Nelson

Keep on the Covenant path will serve us well.” We must anxiously be involved in rearing our children in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We must provide a way for our children to receive the saving ordinances Heavenly Father has prepared for them; baptism and confirmation, receiving the priesthood, their temple endowment, and the crown jewel celestial marriage. As we follow this counsel everything will work out, maybe not the way we thought it would be, but the way the Lord expects it to be. And we will recognize the hand of the Lord in our lives.

Elder’s Oaks and Faust, “… strongly urge [us] you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache. A broad-based international study of the levels of happiness before and after “major life events” found that, on average, persons are far more successful in recovering their level of happiness after the death of a spouse than after a divorce. Spouses who hope that divorce will resolve conflicts often find that it aggravates them since the complexities that follow divorce—especially where there are children—generate new conflicts.” (Oaks, 2007). “In my opinion, any promise between a man and a woman incident to a marriage ceremony rises to the dignity of a covenant.” (James E. Faust, 1993). I have learned to focus on the atonement and repentance, I’ve been married 32-years

Marriage